So That’s It???
|April 20, 2014||Posted by Sarah under Lifestyle|
Friday I left a job after 5 and half years. I did it with a clear head and no regrets. It was the best decision for me. It has caused me a ton of anxiety and honestly I still feel like I have to get up and go to work tomorrow. This is an exciting new chapter, but I can help but be slightly sad.
I spent my last week cleaning my desk, tying up loose ends and getting as much detail together about upcoming projects as I could.
I tossed a giant garbage bin full of paper. I tossed 5 years of work, of my life. All of my things, reduced to one bag.
It didn’t seem real until the final few days….basically when the talking stopped. Everyone was quiet around me, there was a lot of whispering. I started feeling uncomfortable and I just wanted to leave. I worked in a small 6 person office which made it even more awkward. On Thursday, I cried as I said goodbye to my coworker who has been my partner these past 5 years. She started about a month after me and she will be leaving a week after me. We shared a brain and many laughs…that was hard.
On my last day, I was at my desk for 2 hours before anyone talked to me and that was another coworker who I’m friendly with. About an hour later, my manager came over hugged me goodbye and wished me well. Told me to keep in touch. It felt genuine, but that’s what you say, right?
It’s no secret that I have had a strained relationship with our CEO ever since she came on board 3 years ago. We never saw eye to eye and to say she is lacking in integrity is an understatement. That is what ultimately led to my decision to leave. You can only work for someone like that for so long before it really begins to take a toll on your own integrity. I’ve always enjoyed the work I’ve done, our Board of Directors and our members. I would’ve loved to help grow the Association even more, we do great work, but when you see that bad decisions are being made and your work is not being represented appropriately or valued…it’s time to move on.
I’m sure she was happy to see me go. No one to challenge her anymore, no one to see through her. This was clear by how I was treated like a stranger in my final days. Just a goodbye and a wave as I walked out the door. No thank you, no lunch, no card. 5+ years of hard work and dedication reduced to a smile and a wave. That was it… I didn’t expect much, but I couldn’t help but feel horrible as I walked out the door. I came home and felt sad on a day I should be celebrating my new life.
But all can be cured with good people, good food and a lot of laughs 🙂 B took me out to our favorite restaurant Caseus where I had the most delicious Stonington scallops followed by lemon cheesecake.
Then some good friends came over and we drank a lot of wine and watched funny videos until 3 am. I even got congratulatory flowers!
And that’s what life is really about. Not the people who bring you down, but the people who lift you up. The experiences that make you smile, make you feel good. I’m proud of the work that I’ve done, but those last few days really made it clear that I was not meant to be there anymore. While I’m still a little sad, I know that will all go away next week when I can really focus on me. On what I want to do. How lucky am I? No room for sadness here…good riddance.